Quote

I am reading Flannery O'Connor's letters. My favourite is a letter she wrote to Eileen Hall on March 10, 1956. Here is a large part of it.

“When I first began to write I was much worried about this thing of scandalizing people, as I fancied that what I wrote was highly inflammatory. I was wrong - it wouldn’t even have kept anybody awake, but anyway, thinking this was my problem, I talked to a priest about it. The first thing he said was, “You don’t have to write for fifteen year old girls.” Of course, the mind of a fifteen year old girl lurks in many a head that is seventy-five and people are every day being scandalized not only by what is scandalous of its nature but by what is not. If a novelist wrote a book about Abraham passing his wife Sarah off as his sister - which he did - and allowing her to be taken over by those who wanted her for their lustful purposes - which he did to save his skin - how many Catholics would not be scandalized at the behavior of Abraham? The fact is that in order not to be scandalized, one has to have a whole view of things, which not many of us have.

This is a problem that has concerned Mauriac very much and he wrote a book about it called, “God and Mammon.” His conclusion was that all the novelist could do was “purify the source” - his mind. A young man had written Mauriac a letter saying that as a result of reading one of his novels, he had almost committed suicide. It almost paralyzed Mauriac. At the same time, he was not responsible for the lack of maturity in the boy’s mind and there were doubtless other souls who were profiting from his books. When you write a novel, if you have been honest about it and if your conscience is clear, then it seems to me that you have to leave the rest in God’s hands. When the book leaves your hands, it belongs to God. He may use it to save a few souls or try a few others, but I think that for the writer to worry about this is to take over God’s business.”
— Flannery O'Connor

Three things I learned about blogging

  1. Imitation is useless. My own voice is in me, I need to be patient in cultivating it and therefore take time and care in everything I publish.

    Sometimes I wish I was a photographer. I catch myself admiring another blogger's work and supposing their work is easier, more rewarding. I have to remind myself that that isn't true. Every artist willing to publish has decided to invest time in cultivating their talent. Not cultivating my own, or being jealous of others is a mistake. "What I do is me" * will be my motto.
     
  2. My blog will not cater to family. This is by far the hardest thing I have had to learn. The stories of bloggers who wrote for family and then gained an international audience appealed to me but frustrated my desire to write serious pieces. "Too much reading" relatives would say. "More pictures of the kids" they would cry. And because I am a sensitive flower and love to please, I would listen. The internet gods have since invented Instagram, my husband and I got iPhones and everyone is happy.
     
  3. The only way to overcome fear created by a bad experience is by jumping back in. My elementary school English teacher, Mrs. de Carle, once read us a story about a deep sea diver who nearly drowned during one of her dives. When she was rescued and cared for, she was encouraged to dive again the same day in order to get past the bad experience.

    I had my amateur blog professionally re-designed. It filled all the criteria of the blogger I aspired to be. It obliged me to publish daily posts with pictures. It also integrated my Twitter feed. As a result, the pressure I put on myself increased and I became unhappy with the idea of blogging. I stopped blogging for an extended period of time. I then made peace with my inability to tweet and deleted my Twitter account. Then I started journaling.

    Journaling became my New Year's resolution and my weekday practice. But writing in secret doesn't allow me to grow as a writer. Instead, I need to find the joy in blogging and the joy in sharing. I owe gratitude to Austin Kleon and his book Show Your Work for giving me the courage.

    Thanks for listening.

* a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins