There are all kinds of silence: guilty and false, or serious and unwilling, but the most frustrating silence is the prim silence... the one in which a party is holding back. The cliché, that silence is golden is a frustrating saying, because it suggests that the person keeping the silence has the higher merit.

But that cannot always be the case. Apart from consent – good or bad – silence can be lazy, tired or discouraged. Words strung together can be like bridges, but sourcing the vocabulary and executing a plan take such a rallying effort that the effort collapses. And so, silence can simply be empty, like the hollowed shell of an abandoned place.

Here’s how to find golden silence. Here’s how to restore truth to the old cliché. First, do away with mute meekness, away with the frustration held in because it is socially better so, away with ideas regretfully unsaid, untried, untested. Away with the eager need to be clumsily understood. Away with all of that. Instead, let silence be proactive. Let it be giving and generous. Let the hurtful thoughts and impatient exasperation be transformed into blessing. How? By finding in meditative clam, a handful of blessings to send the other person. A blessing for their family, a blessing for their friends. A blessing for their life and a blessing for the place where they are. A blessing for their provocation and a blessing for your crossed paths. A blessing for what they teach you and a blessing for yourself.

With this handful of blessings, loose coins in change, thoughts pay a small fare in effort but take a different route. On that route, there is warmth and sunlight.