There are two misconceptions about narcissism I deplore.

The first is that everyone is a narcissist which therefore makes the label redundant. Narcissism is an invisible deformation of the ego. While everyone has an ego, not everyone has suffered a trauma to their self-image.

The second is the idea that narcissism can be cured. A broken or shattered or deformed self-image can no more be fixed than a human amputee can re-grow a limb. It can no more be fixed than a crooked tree can straighten itself. It can no more be fixed than a patient with multiple sclerosis can regrow myelin.

A narcissistic person cannot change but the people around them can. The complexity of an issue can sometimes be explained with the simplicity of images. In my husband’s hometown of Aubigny, it was not possible to dig a well because the water was alkaline. Families therefore hauled water from the city, bearing the inconvenience for the sake of their farms.