Father’s Day
It would be rude not to acknowledge the fine theme of the day, considering how my own dad is dead, and rather than tell you about him, how he had thick salt and pepper hair, how he loved working in concrete, and how he answered my questions about the politics of the day; I prefer to insert a quote here, from another daughter’s reflection about her dead dad. Thus does Janet Malcolm write in Still Pictures:
He loved opera, birds, mushrooms, wildflowers, poetry, baseball. I am flooded with things I want to say about him. He left more traces of his existence than most people do, because he was always writing things down, on little cards, on onion-skin paper (his poems), in diaries, even on the walls of the cabin on a lake where he and my mother spent weekends and summer holidays. My mind is filled with lovely plotless memories of him. The memories with a plot are, of course, the ones that commit the original sin of autobiography, which gives it its vitality if not its raison d’être. They are the memories of conflict, resentment, blame, self-justification - and it is wrong, unfair, inexcusable to publish them. “Who asked you to tarnish my image with your miserable little hurts?” the dead person might reasonably ask. Since my father was not concerned with his image, he would probably not object to the recitation of my wounded-child’s grievances. But I do not wish to make it. He was a wonderful father. I know he dearly loved my sister and me. (p 32)
An ode
I couldn’t quite figure how to title this section… One of the things I like about how our household runs, something I hadn’t expected to feel when first marrying Christian and setting up house, is the ongoing physical transformation of its spaces. Our house feels like a boat that we helm, functional and cozy, the interior adjusted as needs change. This last little while has yielded the perfect example in the case of our desk downstairs.
Before our boys came along and became toddlers, we had this two-desk set up, which can be glimpsed here…
There was a computer desk, and a kind of large-table desk, both from IKEA.
I wanted a better use of space downstairs, seeing as these two desks divided the living room. I wanted something solid. Kijiji yielded this 100$ engineering-student project. We brought it home in the winter of 2015 by renting a van from Home Depot and Christian re-assembled the jigsaw-like sections.
Do you notice the boys as toddlers also feature here? Christian is the kind of dad that likes working with kids around him.
It’s kind of special how he doesn’t get agitated as they mill about. But back to the desk…
The desk was long enough to provide working spaces for the both of us. I sat at the left end, close to the wall we painted navy blue, and to which we affixed shelving Christian had made to match the desk; and he sat at the right end. At night, I had only to glance over to see him there, doing schoolwork corrections.
It held up to all kinds of abuse…
… all sorts of craft project.
During the pandemic, I asked for a studio space in the garage, and Christian made it. (I talked about it here.)
How spaces transform seems to come from incremental banalities, glacier-like. I started working from the guest room… the backyard pool warranted a change-room. The desk in the downstairs living room was suddenly too long, given how little I used my side of it and so, with its disassembly in mind, we re-designed the studio and now call it by a fancy French name… le vestiaire. Its a small thing that makes us feel incredibly pleased with the use of space.
HAMBURGERS
This is a still life of our counter on a smoky Saturday two weeks ago… thankfully, we’ve since had rain. Other than the orange glow, this is the scene most Saturdays when Christian makes hamburgers. This is our hamburger recipe, based on one from Lisa Gay on the website Food.com:
1 teaspoon onion salt
1 teaspoon seasoning salt
12 Ritz crackers, crushed
2 tablespoons oatmeal
500g extra lean ground beef
1 large egg, beaten
Mix the dry ingredients together roughly, by hand. Mix into the ground beef, add egg, mix again and shape into burgers. Grill until done.
Podcast quote
I enjoyed Ezra Klein’s interview with Kathryn Schultz, in the course of which she reflects:
I think that in our worst moments, the thing that can sustain us is serving others. […] And it’s really powerful to remember that there are other needs in the world, that other people have needs, and that actually you can help meet them and ameliorate them in whatever small ways. There’s no community on earth that does not need your help. And it is good to get outside of your head and outside of your own misery. So if duty is part of your sense of happiness, you will never have to look far to replenish it.
Postcard
My dad was a truck driver, and he’d note spotting an eagle in the countryside on his routes throughout the province. “I saw an eagle today,” he’d say. So now, when I see an eagle, I think of it as a good omen, because it reminds me of him.
Happy Sunday!